Tokyo - Home Of Ninjas, Hello Kitty, Pokémon And Nintendo

Japan is an island country composed almost entirely of ninjas. However, it should be noted that these ninjas are for the most part kindhearted, and will not slit your neck from behind without being provoked. (Tip: Don't try to stop groping on the train, as this is generally enjoyed equally by the ninja groper and the female gropee.) Mount Fuji is their base, which has has been prevented from erupting by means of the unbreakable will of the Japanese people (one of the rare elements not stolen from the Chinese).

The remain population is equally divided between horny lolita schoolgirls, J-Pop Singers, ronin samurai and GUNDAM pilots. All Japanese people are capable of going Super Saiyan (Just lvl 1 and 2) and destroying everything in a 1 kan radius (68,000 km). Most of the kids at the age 14 - 22 look nearly the same; the only thing separating them is school uniforms and out-of-this-world haircuts (yes, we are talking 5 kilo's of goopy wax and various toilet cleaning products). All girls have tremendously nice figures and pride themselves in nothing more than giving you that gratuitous panty shot whenever and wherever you need it (or don't need it). All boys have the effect of chick magnets and usually have at least 4 girls fighting over him (although the boy often looks like a girl and acts like one as well). The most common hobby of all kids in Japan is driving around in 150 feet tall bad-ass mecha machines with ULTIMA-BUSTER CHO-MEGA PARTICLE CANNONS and fight whatever POP-UP-OUT-OF-NOWHERE-badguys-aliens-wtf-shit happens to be lurking around.

Therefore, in order to keep them distracted, the US government demanded after WWII that they spend the greater portion of their waking life watching anime to quell their rage and put them into a state of eternal bliss (see: Pikachu seizure). The Japanese are hardy folk, having developed their powers to combat the various monsters that plague the region. Unfortunately, because of the Wide Eye War of 2003, their powers have been slightly reduced, so they have to rely on monsters found in the wild fields of Osakamon.

Japanese women are capable of ovulation only when sufficiently agitated. Consequently, in excess of 97% of Japanese pregnancies are the result of rape. This aspect of Japanese biology has not affected population growth as rape occurs quite regularly in Japanese culture. As a phenomenon particular to the Japanese, many such rapes involve mutant flora, fauna, or extraterrestrials. A rape resulting in a pregnancy is often celebrated by rites held at a local Shitno shrine.

Many people have noticed that the Japanese people will be seen talking, but no sounds are made, then suddenly hearing words after they have stopped talking. Do not be afraid, this is perfectly normal and Japanese.

For some reason, the Japanese people always come up with new ways to do useless things. Since they are perfectionists, you will often find them trying to find and document the myriad of ways of doing otherwise mundane tasks. The lost art of erebe-ta-do, otherwise known as the art of pushing elevator buttons, is one such pursuit. The complex art and finesse of pushing elevator buttons takes many years to master. A 10th Dan elevator work-belt can push the buttons in such a way that can make the elevator do more than it was intended to do, such as produce lemon and grape snowcones during the hot summer season.

Another art in common use today is the Japanese business management art of kakunin-do, or the art of checking things. Due to Japan's economic success, kakunin-do was studied by the management of many Western companies and implemented for a while until Western managers started dying from the utter monotony. Once people started dying the practice was dropped, proving that Westerners tragically lack proper work ethic. A typical artisan of kakunin-do studies the five eternal principles of the way of kakunin. These are: Over-checking, Distrust, Dodging responsibility, Indecisiveness, and Postponement. A true master of kakunin-do will politely irritate his subordinates with requests for checking, and other seemingly benign and loaded comments, until nothing ever gets done. This results in the celeryman underlings having to work long hours of unpaid overtime with no progress on the business project ever being made. Most celerymen usually do not survive, and turn into undead zombies capable of no more than obeying their instinctive lust for hentai comics. It is well known that Japanese businesses profit from robot and zombie labor.

The Japanese culture seems to have a limitless number of fetishes. If you can think or dream it up, chances are it is a popular fetish in Japan. Go ahead, think of one!